Getting A Bit Too Creative
Over the years I’ve seen many overly creative graphic designer job titles. Perhaps some designers felt that calling themselves simply a ‘graphic designer‘ just wasn’t edgy enough. Maybe they needed a sure-fire way to stand out from the crowd. Somehow, creatives have come up with some interesting alternative job titles to define their jobs. But does that help or hinder them?
It’s an interesting argument on the use of creative titles for designers. We are, after all, in the business of being creative. Should the titles on our business card reflect that creativity? Or should we tell the world exactly what they want to hear- or more realistically- what they’ll type into Google?
If you’re debating a designer title remix you could probably use a spark of creativity to get you going. So for your reading enjoyment, here’s a list of the more ridiculous titles I came up with. Fortunately, I haven never seen designers use any of the titles here. At least not yet. I’ve included the thought processes that would have to go through a designer’s head to actually use one, and a potential client’s reaction upon reading the title. Without further ado, here’s my list of alternate job titles for designers.
Designer Thinks: I can bend and twist any pixel to perfection. What a great visual!
Potential Client Thinks: Do I want my pixels twisted?
Designer Thinks: Those words sound great together. I can totally have a frog in my logo now! Send cards to print!
Potential Client Thinks: She frogs fonts? Does she hop over fonts? Maybe she’s just a child of the 80s.
Designer Thinks: I’m a digital illustrator; hence queen of the vector. Vector… vampire? Vein? Vixen! Yeah.
Potential Client Thinks: First off, what the hell is a vector? Second… maybe she’s a dominatrix.
Designer Thinks: Those words just flow so well… but do they make sense? Meh. They’ll be intrigued enough to call!
Potential Client Thinks: Am I going to get an actual logo file or is she going to send me the logo via interpretive dance?
Designer Thinks: I take ideas and ink them on the page- I create life out of a concept. I turn nothing into something.
Potential Client Thinks: So she draws? I wonder if she does caricatures.
Designer Thinks: I am the master of web. I can make icons and ‘submit’ buttons that will make you gasp in awe! I am a wizard… nay, a warlock!
Potential Client Thinks: Oh cool, someone to help me set up my email.
Designer Thinks: I have mastered the art of typography. I once was a pawn, but now I am queen! A kerning queen.
Potential Client Thinks: Kerning? Is that like- farming?
Designer Thinks: That word combo… sounds so good! Hell to what it means, people will be so in awe over my amazing wordsmithing skills they won’t care!
Potential Client Thinks: Okay, so she wrangles… what exactly?
Designer Thinks: I’m like a plumber right? I fix things. I get rid of all the shit clogging the pipes a.k.a. the bad design. Yeah! (High-fives self)
Potential Client Thinks: I just… don’t.
Designer Thinks: Ohh. It’s edgy and a little sexy. Sex sells right?
Potential Client Thinks: She licks her computer monitor?
Designer Thinks: I fix bad designs so I’m like a doctor! The surgeon of sans-serif! The nurse of negative space! The paramedic of Pantone!
Potential Client Thinks: Hey, she’s a doctor! Maybe she can have a look at that growth on my foot.
Designer Thinks: Sweeeeeet.
Potential Client Thinks: Graphic? Like graphic design? Crafter… oh, she must sell things on Etsy.
Typographical Torrent of Talent
Designer Thinks: Take that unworthy competition!
Potential Client Thinks: Well now. Someone sounds a bit cocky.
Designer Thinks: None of that mainstream designer software for me, oh no… and now the whole world knows it. Muahhahha
Potential Client Thinks: Is that Italian? Why am I craving pasta?
Digital Design Duck Hunter
Designer Thinks: I miss the 90’s
Potential Client Thinks: I miss the 80’s.
Graphic Designer Job Titles: In Conclusion
Please don’t take this list of graphic designer job titles too seriously. You probably shouldn’t actually put one of these titles on your business card or website. Obviously, as designers, we consider ourselves to be pretty creative. However, we still need to be marketable. Telling people you’re a Pixel Licker will only cause you to lose potential clients or attract the wrong type of client.
If you’re looking for legit alternative job titles for designers, check out this list of titles that could actually work.